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| drawing the lines |
| 07.08.04 (2:43 am) [edit] |
|
Whew! New day, new life… I just told somebody today whom I had fallen in love with some months ago that I’m completely over him. Yep, I’m thru with him! And I feel good. I just have no idea of what he really feels. Actually I, myself, was shocked by the words that came out of my mouth. To exaggerate things, it was like “hey jerk, I’m so over you” Haha! Oopps! No offense to him. I just thought things went in a not-so-proper way. We weren’t actually face-to-face but it’s like “in your face” you know what I mean? I decided to walk on the road less traveled by, to be direct. But at certain point I feel that I should have never told it to him. Anyway as I’ve said, it feels good so I should be feeling right. And it was me, who had feelings for him. Umm, yeah, so there’s no way it can hit him. I remember what he said, “actually as i have told you.. i have big dreams in life .. and i want to work hard for them. so i want to give all my time to work..” So why the hell waste my time waiting for him to love me back? Besides he’s the type of person who has no time, or should I say, doesn’t believe in love. There are billions of people here in this world so if you were thrown-off, why not go look for another one? I’m not saying that if you’re really looking for your soulmate you oughta meet all the people one by one and have yourself drawn to him/her, have some fucking sessions, and if you found out that person is not the one then search for another. What I mean is God is not stupid to create billions of people and left you all alone. Going back.. Maybe I’m just saying these bec. my love for him is not the kind that I will cross the sea to be with him. No, he should be the one to conquer things for me. He should make a yacht out of those trees in his jungle and leave his island to sail in an endless sea with me. Haha! What am I saying?! (well, only the two of us can understand that) Honestly, I’ve been waiting for that right time to come where I’d be able to say it. So just he knows I’m thru with him. I am a woman, forget the bisexual thing. I’m still a woman coz I have vagina. And when I blurted it out, it was actually my moment. FYI: It’s not that someone new came along. Neither we had “something” in the past. Of course I’d still want to be loved by him. But in a degree of friendship. I want things to be like this. No reservations. No compromises. No more, no less. It’s just that he’s too special that I don’t wanna think of loosing him one day. So there, we're better off as friends. |
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 07.08.04 (1:42 pm)
i think that what you've done is right. i have a friend who also did the same thing and the guy regreted letting her go. some men really sucks!
posted by: Axanar (reply)
post date: 07.08.04 (3:28 pm)
My best advice is to never compromise. The funny thing about fate is, it only takes you so far...the rest is up to you. Notwithstanding....accident rules every corner of the universe except the chambers of the human heart. What ever happens is how it is supposed to be! But isn't it great how love brings out the best and worst in us all!
posted by: spicyskewrl (reply)
post date: 07.08.04 (6:00 pm)
Reply to: Axanar
hi it's spicyskewrl just out of curiousity who are u??? i mean u want me to be ur friend, do i know u??? nice blog :D!
posted by: CYRIX (reply)
post date: 07.08.04 (6:10 pm)
Reply to: newbie
i just dunno if he has any regrets.. but it seemed (the last time we talk) that he's also fine with it. he said this is how things should go. we both agreed.. and i'm totally fine, i didn't feel any pain or something coz the feeling was gone. i'm not just saying this to protect myself or what, but bec. i knew it was needed. likewise to have a little of that dignity. If you once went through same experience you’d understand what I’m saying.
posted by: CYRIX (reply)
post date: 07.08.04 (6:15 pm)
Reply to: Axanar
yeah, i agree with everything you said. it’s all about a cosmic twist of fate. and i believe that everything happens for a reason. You may not know it now but somewhere along the way you’ll discover it. but i think accident also happens in human heart at times. You don’t dictate yourself when, how or even who you should fall in love with. it just happen without you knowing. maybe that's the way it is.. thank you! i appreciate your advice..
posted by: mohit (reply)
post date: 07.08.04 (8:41 pm)
Hi guys! i do love michelle as a friend and like her as a girl.
In fact, after reading your comments i must confess that i am missing her too! But is that love ? i don't know !!
I have known love only once, when i got the love for my country, and ever since then thats the light of my life. I am supposing that my any other love would be as evident to me as that one .. am i right !! may be ... what do you think ?