Happiness is not a destination but rather a journey, I believe. We only live and die once and it would be the most painful thing getting there and not having to savor the thing that you know will make you complete as a human. If I were to ask right at this moment if I’m ready to die, I would bluntly say no. I don’t wanna die not knowing the reason why God put me here. What on earth am I here for? I don’t even know what drives my life. The only thing I know is I’m a failure. I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life. I’ve never been good at myself and to the people I love. Neither do I know where I’m headed. C’mon, what the hell is goin’ on with me! Ah, life sucks! Somebody has to spank me. But I got no one to blame. You know, when a person gets to experience life’s absurdities, apparently he tend to be cynical about things. Do you believe that? Am I just being one?

Sometimes I feel like it’s only hope that keeps me going. At least I have hope. At least I push through. Somehow I’m still lucky I get to wake up each morning and realize there’s always something to laugh about and be thankful for. And perhaps there are lots of reasons to say how beautiful life is. Maybe it’s only a matter of appreciating things that are coming your way. Oftentimes we ask God to bring us miracles but little do we know that the fact of having every single day in our lives is actually a miracle. The gift of life itself, the birdsong, the way the sun breaks through the clouds each morning, having someone to love, being loved.. Well it makes me realize that being loved is certainly being able to tell yourself "I EXIST"