I always wonder if there is really someone that’s meant for each one of us. You would always hear them say; someone is dreaming of you somewhere out there, just as you are dreaming of this person you are yet to meet. Well, personally I don’t know if I should believe this. Umm.. maybe partly. I mean, not that I am holding on to this thought. I can’t also say whether I’m a hopeless romantic or what. But with the things that I used to hear, and with the knowledge that I know about it.. I just can’t tell. Laughs! No, uh, I’m not really an expert when it comes to matters of the heart but my friends would always say I’m like “Dyosa ng Love Quotes and Payos”, Answering Machine, and all that. They say I seem to know a lot from these when I talk like I am saying, “been-there, done-that!” But on the contrary, no. Definitely no, especially when talking to experiences. And hey, did I mention that I belong to this federation NBSB (No BF Since Birth)? Haha! Believe it or not but in my 21 years never did I feel how it is to be in love. I mean, I don’t even know the feeling coz I would always hesitate. When I’m aware that I’m going to fall further I tend to hold back. And I don’t know why.

It’s tough to pretend you don’t feel the stigma of being single in a society that seems to celebrate coupledom. All around you the “marrieds” have their family-full lives and constant companionship, and there you are— in full Ally McBeal-ish spinster splendor.

Not until with this guy I met thru chatting some 2 months ago. Honestly, it’s a very rare thing. I didn’t think it could happen to me and that we’d be closer than I had expected. My idea of having this special connection to someone you don’t even know at all suddenly changed. Before I used to say chatting is just a waste of time most esp. e-dating or actually having a bf or gf you just met thru the net. But I admit, even before I get to chat once in a while. At first just because of plain curiosity. I got the idea how it really goes but then I still do. Nothing, sometimes I just get bored, sometimes it’s also good having to meet different kinds of people. There are those who are nasty or just after something, but at times, when you are lucky, you get to meet people who are serious and decent enough. So there, I met Mohit. The guy I mentioned earlier.

I can’t validate my feelings. But he is certainly special. I didn’t know it’s happening. What do I know? I’m having a great time, and.. and I don’t even know it. I didn’t notice how things went too fast. All I know is when I talk to him, it’s like you’re the only person in this world. Mohit makes me feel special and every conversation we have is always fruitful, worth reminiscing that is. I don’t get bored and he makes it easy for me to show my real self and I know he feels that way too. He knows how to let things just stay up in the air. We talk things that only the two of us can understand. In other words, it’s something that I’m always looking forward to everyday.

On the other hand, I can’t deny the fact that it’s good to be single. Nothing to worry about, having your freedom and all, and just plainly having the time of your life!

And by the way, I don’t see myself getting married. Of course I believe in marriage but I don’t think that’s my scene. Maybe it has something to do with my being realistic. And realization sometimes is right there in front of you. To see those marriages turned into nothing, the next thing you know you’re an urban legend.

But just in case I get to realize that I would rather swallow it all and enter into something with a lot of uncertainties at stake than to forever live alone that’s more miserable, maybe, just maybe, I would have to reconsider it.

According to Ally McBeal, never settle with someone who you think is just the only one and not the one. But a friend of mine (Gen), told me once “who knows who we would end up with?” And it made me ponder. Hmm.. all I can say is whoever that is, he should be the man who would make or break me. Someone who wouldn’t just rock my bed but also my world.